We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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