Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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