if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
