I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
