She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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