Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
