Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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