Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Randomize
