So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
