I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
