See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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