Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
