How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You're a waste of cheezeits
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
