Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
