I wanna passion pit in your ass
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
