i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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