um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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