When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
