Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
My vagina is very pro this idea
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