he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
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