My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
