I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
