Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
honey bunches of taint.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
