She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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