I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
