Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
