There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It's shark week go big or go home
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
