we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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