should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
