i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
handjob tips. give me some.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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