dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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