dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
