Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
