Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
