i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You did what with his pubic hair?
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