I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
