My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
