I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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