she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
