Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize