sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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