Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
