So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
