You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
