I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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