just survived the first fart of the relationship.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
