Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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