then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
