i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
