Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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