It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
