You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
