apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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